Riemblog

I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby’s sentence was commuted by President George W. Bush yesterday. I will leave the politics of it all to those who are interested. I don’t care anymore. What I find more interesting is Libby’s name. And this on two counts: 1) its form, i.e., first initial, full middle name, “nickname,” last name; 2) the prevalence of weird, diminutive nicknames/stage-names in our diminishing culture. My inability to be outraged or even to care about the actual case is a good index of my political apostasy at this point. But names are interesting.

First, it is very difficult to find out what Scooter’s name really is. Don’t think so? Read this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eat-the-press/2007/03/13/naming-names-what-the-he_e_43351.html
His first name is Irve, after his father apparently. But of special interest is the form of his name. There is something inherently untrustworthy, I characteristically with no proof assert, about someone who goes with first initial, full middle, last. Never mind the cutesy nickname. Think G. Gordon Liddy (ah, the ironic resonance), J. Edgar Hoover, or for you literary types, J. Alfred Prufrock. I’m sorry if this is how you roll, moniker-wise, but it’s shifty and I, for one, advise against it. And what’s with “Scooter?” Why not “Chopper,” as a friend of mine was tagged in Viet Nam? Or “Hog?” “Scooter?” It sounds like a bad college frat hangover thing. You should outgrow these things. Especially if you are chief of staff to the Vice President of the United States of America.

Little names seem to have come into some sort of vogue, though. Think Fifty Cent (or is it Fi’ty Cent?) Why not Dollar, or Doll-ah? What about Usher? Why not Theater Owner? or at least Projectionist? I would think Concessionaire would be better. What about Movie Mogul? And why only Tupac? Why not Sixpac, or Case? Notorious B.I.G. was a noteworthy exception. Both notorious and big.

I don’t know, but things like this keep me up at night. Call me “Moped.”